Thursday, October 21, 2010

Why?

Life's lessons...as you know i lost my precious little dog saturday, still grieving and asking why.  Now, i am truly lost, my husband was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma, and to start chemo soon.  Why..like life isnt hard enough?...Just wow, i dont even know how to put how i feel into words, just WOW!!!! I am not an overly religious person, but you better believe, i feel to my knees!!!!!!!! I can only imagine what is going through his mind!!!!!!!! To here the big C word come from the doctors mouth......Oh Gosh!!!!!!

30 comments:

Unknown said...

I am sad to hear your anguish and don't really know what to say to answer your question. I stopped asking why; only pray that I have the strength to get through what life keep throwing at me. Everything we experience is for a purpose; somethings to learn patience, some other thing to learn love; I could go on but you get the idea. We are here to learn...I want to comfort you and say whatever happens, God takes care of us-even when we don't believe. So God bless and keep you. May you have the strength to make it through, you'll need to help your husband as he journeys through his chemo.
big hugz
Pam

Unknown said...

Pam,
Thank You so very much!!!!!! I think i am going to stop asking why, as well!!!!! I will be strong!!!!!!!!!
Hugs to you, and Thank You!
Jackie

Unknown said...

I am so sorry, Jackie! I will definitely keep sending good wishes and prayers your way..xoxoxo

Sue said...

Jackie,

I wish I was there with you and could give you a big hug. A diagnosis of cancer is so scary and I think after the initial shock, our first reaction is "Why?" I'm still asking myself this after my eldest daughter was diagnosed with melanoma
almost 4 weeks ago. We still don't know the stage or the treatment (oncologist surgeon is on vaca). My daughter has lived with diabetes since she was 6, and now this, which was diagnosed after a rather bad romance (LOL, I sound like Lady Gaga)

Anyway, yes, "Why" still does cross my mind, but I am trying to find out as much as I can about the disease and treatments, looking into support groups and searching out positive sites and things to do. Just taking one day at a time, while trying to be strong for Nicole. Some days are easier than others, and in our case waiting until she has her surgery in Nov. and we find out the extent of spread, is hard.

A friend told me that when dealing with any type of cancer, the waiting (for treatments, test results, scans, etc) is one of the hardest things cause that is when your mind can really run away with you.

Sorry for the long reply, but I can so identify with how you feel right now.

Strength, prayers and hugs to you and your hubby.

Sue

Unknown said...

Sue,
I posted on your blog. I do so hope your daughter gets in quick!!!!!
Strength, Hugs, and prayers back to you and Nicole!!!

Cheryl @ Bingle Bears said...

(((((((HUGS)))))))
And heaps and heaps of more hugs,
Cheryl

Unknown said...

Thank You so very much Cheryl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marguerite (Tina) Smith Hart said...

Dear Jackie how sad I am to hear this news after what happened to sweet Baby. I will keep you and yours in my prayers and I do believe in my heart that all will be well. Sending love and hugs....
Tina xo

Dixie Redmond said...

Oh, Jackie. Many hugs to you and your hubby. I will be praying.

Dixie

Unknown said...

Tina,
That is what i am going to do, be as everything will be ok, positive positive positive!!!! Thank You so so very much!
Dix,
Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sue said...

Jackie, thank you so much for your comment, prayers and support on my blog. I am SO glad you made your sis
see about that mole! Melanoma is such an aggressive and unforgiving cancer - as the doc said, you DID save her life!

Wishing you a great weekend and hope you and hubby can put the diagnosis out of your heads for just a tiny
bit and enjoy yourselves. (It is hard, I know)

Hugs,

Sue

Unknown said...

Sue,
You are sooo right, we are getting out of this house tomorrow, hub loves yard sales so we'll make a day of it!!!!! Thanks , we havent went for about a month!! Have a out of this world weekend!!!
Hugs,
Jackie

McNally School said...

Jackie - You have been in my thoughts all week. I'm sorry that you're going through such a tough time right now. Take care of yourself and your husband.

Nancy Sprung said...

PLEASE, please, please research the (Johannah) Budwig Protocol before your husband begins his traditional cancer treatments!!!!!!
Please do not panic and just follow doctors' orders. There is MUCH information on this wonderful protocol on the internet, and if you do this, if your husband follows it, he will be fine--and without the terribly damaging effects of the traditional cancer treatments. Read about the amazing cottage cheese/flax oil mix that will infuse his cells with healing fats and oxygen which will kill the cancer. Johanna Budwig was a German scientist who was nominated seven times for the Nobel prize for this protocol. Unfortunately, cancer is a big money-making industry, and there are many, many people who want to suppress this lifesaving information to keep the money coming in from the chemo/radiation treatments. Please, educate yourself about the Budwig Protocol, and spread the word to everyone you know!!

Unknown said...

Thank You so much, Elaine!! We will, Big Hugs to ya!

Nancy,
This will definitely take some doing, Thank You for the info, my hub is a greasy burger type guy, but hopefully he will accept this change with an open mind. we already cook w/ cast iron, so that wont be hard. I am not sure what Flax seed is but i think they will know Co-op. My daughter called and pleaded with him to switch to a "raw' diet, the first think out of his mouth was ...I hate sushi. The pasta and bread will take some doing too.
Thank You once again,
Jackie

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness Jackie, I just knew something was wrong since I've not seen you on FB. I came looking for you and can see that you are right in the middle of a storm (God can and will still the waters)!

Remember this, the cancer your hubby has is very treatable whatever choice of treatment you choose, don't panic.

Your daughter will make it, she's young and strong. Have faith.

I am also very very sorry about your sweet puppie...the pain is almost unbearable when they pass.

Just remember Jackie, Jesus can calm the storms of life with just a word from his lips. I'm praying for your family, don't ask why Jackie that's a question we'll never have the answer to in this life but one day we will. God take sweet Jackie in your loving arms and hold her tight.

Take care Jackie, Patty

Nancy Sprung said...

http://www.budwigcenter.com/

http://www.naturalorganiclifestyle.com/digestive-enzymes.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSoddptWL0s

Jackie--

Here are three links to help. The third one listed is a youtube video on how to make the cottage cheese/flax oil mix properly. Listen carefully to the instructions. It is important to buy the NON-lignan flax oil. Got to www. barleans.com to find a great, fresh flax oil. After it is delivered to you put it right into the fridge to keep it fresh. It is my understanding that Barleans will give you a discount if you tell them your husband has cancer.

Your husband should not eat sushi, or any kind of animal flesh or dairy (except for the cottage cheese in the mix). I suggest you look up juicing or pureeing raw fruits and vegetables. Make them organic. Cancer comes about from eating the wrong foods, from exposure to toxins, etc., not from God.

Chemo is mighty poison. People often die of the cancer treatments rather than the cancer itself.Your husband should stay on the Budwig protocol for the rest of his life--and so should we all. It is a life-giving protocol.

I hope I have helped you.

Take Care Now,

Nancy

Anonymous said...

Nancy I agree with you 100 %, we followed a diet by Dr George Malkmus, for years, and everything the program you are suggesting is exactly what he teaches.

Unknown said...

Thank You Patty and Nancy!!! If anything Nancy, it has mad him stop and look at the fat and chemicals he puts in his mouth!!!!!!!!!!!! We havent made it to the Co-op yet, but when we go, i will be printing out everything and making a list! Alot of things on that list you cant buy at Burger King or Mcdonalds eh!!!!
Patty,
That was Sue Bartons daughter. What ever diet he chooses i know it will for sure be a life change!
Thank You both so very much!!!!
Hugs,
Jackie

Nancy Sprung said...

One more thing, Jackie, and then I will bow out..
It is the essential fatty acids in the Budwig Protocol that makes the difference between this and all other diets. It is the lifesaving key.

Best of luck,

Nancy

AngelMc said...

My Sweet Blogger friend, I am a praying person and I will be remembering you and your husband in my prayers.
I hate that you two will be having to go through with this, but be of good courage, He will see you through.
And I know that you are missing your little puppy...they are such a wonderful part of our lives.
You said that you are not a particularly religious person, but you fell to your knees...I am reminded of a song, "Whatever Brings You To Your Knees Is Good For You." This has been true for me, time after time.
Please keep us posted on your husband's progress. Again, my heart goes out to you, and my prayers go up for you.

Unknown said...

Nancy,
Its the essential fatty acids, he keeps thinking hes going to have to live on cottage cheese and Flax seed oil shakes for the rest of his life, but i know there are other healthy options on the list that can take the place of the greasy cheeseburger! He said hes not ready to give up all veggies but less red meats i think i have him convinced, we also started back on the colloidal silver. Nancy, may i ask how you became aware of the Budwig Protocol?
Thank you again for making us more conscious of what we actually eat, we do have bad eating habits!!!

Thank You so much Angel! Funny thing is, Keith is a believer. Keith says Thank You so much for the prayers!!!

Robin's Egg Bleu said...

I'm so very, very sorry to hear your recent news. This is very scary, I know. Just try to get from day to day and alleviate any unnecessary 'stuff' from your days if you can.
Sending prayers your way.

Nancy Sprung said...

Dear Jackie,

Since you asked how I came to know of the Budwig Protocol I have come back to reply.

I discovered it while reading online to look for help for my husband's precancerous condition. I am very interested in nutrition, in general, too.

I know you have just gotten this Budwig Protocol info, and it's a lot of info to take in, but I feel I must stress to you that nothing can replace the CC/Flax mix. From your replies I am getting the sense that you think your husband just needs to eat generally better, but the CC/Flax is the most important key. It is my understanding that when a person has cancer and cures himself with strict adherence to the whole protocol then he needs to continue it for life or the cancer will return (or will likely return). We ALL should be eating this way. This protocol is also a cancer prevention protocol, but the prevention protocol is less strict.

Let me tell you that both my husband and I find the CC/flax oil mix to be extremely delicious, and we enjoy it as though it is a dessert every day. If you make it the same way as shown in the youtube video link I sent you, with the nuts and berries, it is a wonderful "meal".

Please look up Bill Henderson online (search his name + cancer) you will find more info.

Your husband doesn't have many choices, and even fewer good ones. As far as I can see it's chemotherapy and all it's attending awfulness, or the Budwig Protocol (strict adherence). His life is at stake, and to me the choice seems clear: eat to live, or not. If he doesn't change, most likely this won't go away permanently, even if the chemo seems to work initially.

Nancy

Nancy Sprung said...

P.S.

I want to add that after first learning of the Budwig Protocol online I ordered and read books about it. I have now read about it from many different sources, different initially-skeptical-but-now-have-seen-miracles sources to have me convinced of it's effectiveness. In my own experience with it with myself (age 52) and my husband (age 80), what I know is that we both feel great since taking the CC/Flax mix daily, and he looks and feels years younger than he did just five months ago since starting the regime. People are constantly complimenting him on how well he looks, which amazes him, and he no longer mentions feeling any aches and pains. I have stopped worrying that his pre-cancerous esophageal condition will eventually turn into cancer.

After reading Patty's post I looked up Dr. George Malkmus. I'm afraid I didn't (haven't yet) read enough to find out whether he actually recommended the Budwig cottage cheese/flax mix, but one thing he did say which caught my eye was that in all his experiences of dealing with ill cancer patients who went the traditional medicine route, for those in which it wasn't effecting a cure (and, in fact, was devastating them), prayer was completely ineffectual in bringing about healing for the patients; It was the total diet changes that saved lives, including his own.

Unknown said...

Thank You Robin!! I catch my self trying to 'fill' the day full of stuff. Keith gets too exhausted we even quit yard saling early.
Nancy, i will have him read your post!! I will even have my parents read your post as dad has pre cancer Barretts and mom well mom has emphysema.
Thank You so much,
Jackie

Anonymous said...

Sending hugs and healing your way Jackie and wishing all the best :)

Unknown said...

Thanks so much Caroline, very much appreciated!!!!!!
Hugs back!!!!!

Deanna Hogan said...

It breaks my heart to hear you are going through these struggles. I, too, wish I were just around the corner to provide a hug, comfort or support whenever needed.

It's hard to be strong, but I know you've got it in you.

Love,
Deanna

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